Friendship

Every day we have moments of clumsiness, minor breakdowns, funny stories, and at the end of the day we just want someone to spill it all to. You see we were created to do life with people helping us through, not by ourselves. God took Adam after he created him and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen 2:18). Thus companionship was born. Having someone to walk through life with makes this crazy roller-coaster called life much more bearable. Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 speak about friendship. More specifically theses verses take about how it isn't good for man to be alone. Verse 12 states, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

Growing up I moved around quite a bit and because I was a victim of bullying I had a limited number of friends. When I think about the girls who I called my friends at the time, I realized I never had a good mutual friendship with them, the kind of friendship where both of us give equally into the relationship. For example, I always felt as I did everything for my friend, yet I would get nothing in return. I showed up to their sporting events, they didn't come to mine. I tried to make time for us to get together, but they rarely call or text me to see how I’m doing. I soon realized that these friendships weren't healthy for me. With that being said, a friendship isn't a one sided deal. We are called to give love, compassion, trust, a listening ear, a smile, and the most important of all: time. There are those people that we instantly click with, but to create a lasting friendship with that person we have to put forth effort with these characteristics. However, the Bible warns against the friends that will tear you down instead of build you up, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20). Friends are there to help you follow your passions, support your decision (or tell you if it’s a bad decision), share your tears, fears and be by your side as you walk the earth. It’s awfully hard to do it on your own, but it’s never too late to start a friendship with someone, or even rekindle an old friendship.

One thing that we sometimes forget is that we don’t need a lot of friends in order to be happy, that’s why we have Jesus, but we do need those that we can go to confidently and just talk and sympathize with. During my summer at Colorado LT, leadership training, I found three people who I got super close to and could tell them just about anything. All three of these individuals have completely different personalities, and I knew what I would receive when I talk to them. For example, with my co-worker we would talk about anything. Such as: God, boys, friendships, college, and life in general. We listened to each other and gave each other advice. Whereas one of the men from my project group I had breakdowns in front of, ranted to him, yet in return he gave me a Godly perspective on the situation at hand. In addition to that I knew that when we were done talking I will be left with a lot to contemplate and a fresh look at the situation. The third person was a girl that I was able to sit with and just have fun with. Every time we hung out after work we talked, laughed, and recalled the funny times from our day. I treasured those times greatly. The reason I am talking about these three individuals is because they taught me what a true Christ-centered friendship is supposed to look like. They also taught me how to love a person, and just listen to what they had to say. In addition they also taught me about how a healthy friendship is supposed to be lived out. The greatest part about these three individuals was that even though we all live in different states and would only be together for two and a half months, we knew we would need each other as the summer went on.
Lastly, the one saying I heard a lot before going to college was, “The friends you make in college will last a lifetime.” I wholeheartedly agree. It’s in college that you meet people with similar interest and dreams as your own. You are in a place where you’re beginning a new chapter of your life away from your familiar surroundings. And once you arrive on campus you begin to meet people in your classes, dorm, the library and many other places, that’s when you begin to start noticing that you’re not the only one dealing with fears similar to your own. That is how friendships begin, and then as the years go on you and the friends you have made have created a bond so special that your friendship may continue on for a lifetime.  


In conclusion, when you look at your friends do you see a person who genuinely cares about your well-being, or a person who only is there for sporadic times of your life? Remember you shouldn't have to change who you are in order to make friends. Being the person God created you as will lead the right people into your life, and those people will love you just as you are. 

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