A subtle change

Taken Christmas day
Last month I participated in my church's annual 21 days of prayer and fasting. As I look back on those 3 weeks I see that the habits I had created had changed. I knew that it would be a possibility since the series at church was titled “Uphill Habits”, but the fact that I changed surprised me. 

The alarm going off at 4:45am versus 5am was an uphill habit that was a struggle and also a victory for me. Yes, it’s only a 15 minute difference from my original time, but because of that 15 minute change I was able to go to prayer for 15 minutes before driving to work. Worship with my church community was honestly a blessing. The time was so sacred for our church. The first few mornings I was tired and unsure about making it to work on time, but soon that worry faded. Instead I entered into Gods presence, and let him take care of everything else that followed. I’m extremely thankful that my pastor had this set time of year because not only was my focus in the morning shifted, but my time with God too. 

As christians we know that it is important to read the word of God. However, we still struggle with doing the one thing that God has commanded that we do in order to know Him and his Son better. I sure as heck had been putting God’s Word on the back burner for some time. I was barely picking up my Bible. Then around the second week of the 21 days of prayer I finally pushed myself to pick my Bible back up. I mean how in the world can I get anywhere that God wants me to be if I am not letting His Word guide me? So for the last month I have been reading through the book of Matthew. I am currently about halfway through. Yes, I have missed a day or two , but I continue to pick up my sword.  Why? Because we mess up. I mess up, constantly. But a friend of mine puts all of that into perspective beautifully. He wrote the following as a reminder to me in a email a few years back. I’m thankful that I ran across this reminder a few days ago, “He loves you in all of your flaws and imperfection.  He loves you when you don't wake up and spend quiet time with him.  He simply and furiously loves you.  Regardless of what you have done or not done.” 

There is one other thing that really got me during the 21 days of Prayer and Fasting. Music. My music. God knows I can’t live without there being music playing somewhere. My friends are used to my iPod switching between country, pop, Disney, Latino, Rock, and more when they are in the car with me. But then The second week Pastor challenged the church. He challenged us to basically drop off the face of the earth. To guard what was going through our ears, what played in front of our eyes, and where our time was spent. So, I said ok, I’ll take your challenge to just play Christian music and worship. I mean I do it at times anyway where Christian music and worship are the only things I listen to, but this time something changed. I can’t describe hat happened, but I honestly was struggling for about 2 weeks following pryer and fasting to go back to music that isn’t Worship. I tried to go back for the first time on a road trip about 3 weeks ago. I turned my iPod on shuffle to all songs, and when the first song came on that wasn’t Worship I didn’t last a second before changing it. It actually hurt to do so, especially when Brad Paisley’s song Today came on (I adore that song). It’s like there is a wall guarding my ears from my “normal”. Part of me is clearly confused, but another part of me is at rest when Worship songs come on. All I know is that right now I have to trust Him in why I am going through this season of non-christian music listening. 


I think my favorite waiter from Olive Garden has it right. Guarding what you put into your body really does change who you are. Of course I’ve heard it before, but thinking about the endless love songs and line dances that I own…. I mean, those aren’t fully helping me live fully. More like dream of my future that I should be praying about. Gods got me. He always does, and I’m really thankful for the 21 days of prayer and fasting that took place last month. I look forward to what God will continue to do this year, both good and bad. 

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