To be honest

My students having fun on our class field trip

To be honest, it has been an incredibly hard year. Well, 11 months. 11 months ago I graduated from college. I left San Marcos for home. I came back to the place I grew up, to take time to figure out what I wanted to do next, because when I left San Marcos all I knew was that God was pulling me back home even though I thought I was supposed to go elsewhere. So, I came back to my dorm sized high school bedroom. I came back to a community that had changed in the four years that I had been gone. Family, friends, life in the twin cities had changed. It was a bit of a shock because even though I was coming back to familarity, nothing was the same.

Coming back I got plugged into serving middle schoolers at River Point Church. That was the first big change for me (besides trying to fit my apartment in my bedroom). My time there was wonderful. My position changed a lot over the course of the 7 months that I went there. Now I'm simply helping run their Young Adults ministry. About 3 months ago I made the change to go back to the church I had orignally planned to go to once I moved back, Anchorbend (formerly known as The Church). The difference in my roles at both churches is vastly different, but Anchorbend is growing me, and pushing more than the 7 months I was at RPC. Like I said, i'm being honest. I'm currently the inner communications person, and one of the photographers. With AB I am constantly on the go, but I like it. I like growing in the areas that I started pruning in college. Along with the churches that have played a big part in my year transition, so has my job at Yes Prep.

Teaching has been the most challenging thing of my life. I thought living in another state alone for three months was hard, or that college was hard. Nope! I don't think I've ever been more run down, tired out, unsure of myself, than from teaching. I know many have said that your first year is hard, but you don't fully understand the grind till you are behind the wheel. To continue being honest, teaching unveils pieces of you that you didn't know existed. It challenges you to find the strength you didn't know you had. The kids find your weak spots and poke at them with a stick. Your superiors unknowingly pull back a layer of you that you thought was long gone. And to tell you the truth, I wanted to quit in October, and then in November, and especially in December, but I am still going back. I'm still waking up everyday at 5am. I'm holding in the screams to toughen it out, and you know what? I have been seeing some of the bright spots of being a teacher. There was a student that has given me a lot of grieve last semester is willing to work with me on his behavior. A group of girls are willing to come up and talk with me at recess. There are students pushing themselves to do better to please me. Thinking about those things make me a little sad on the inside because in 28 school days I will be leaving Yes. About 3 weeks ago, at the lovely age of 22, I signed my first letter of resignation. I found out before Spring Break that my position is being cut for the upcoming school year. Yes, it has been a hard pill to swallow, but I have been sitting back watching God work around me. He is doing a new thing. Right now I am a bit unsure about where I will be after June 1st, but all I have to do is follow Him and listen to where He leads.

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